(Intro)
Christmas comes just once a year (I got a baby doll)
With all its yuletide joy and cheer (I got a football)
But theres one thing I'd like to say
Is that I hate Christmas day (I got a rock!)

Its time for everybody to have a christmas party.
Everyone but me I'll step outside
Boycott your office party.
No secret Santa for me.
Mistletoe makes me sneeze anyway.
Cos I don't wanna go, where happy days are snow
I'd rather stay where
Frosty melts in the sun.
July 4 parade.
A Lynchburg lemonade.
An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun (now everybody sing).

Chorus:
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but,
I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

Its time for everybody to head out Christmas shopping.
Everyone but me I'll stay inside.
No presents under your tree that have a nametag for me.
And it makes my gifts so easy to hide
I don't wanna go where shopping lines are slow.
I rather stay at home with the frosty cold one.
A bud on ice in may, a lazy summer day.
An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun (now everybody sing) .

Chorus:
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but,
I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

(Rap)
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
All the creatures was chillin like Flint drinkin stout.
I woke from my sleep, heard 'here comes the boom'.
I knew that Santa would be comin' soon.
On Dascher on Donner, Commit, on Blitzen.
I yelled 'shut up ya'll,' but they wouldn't listen.
And then he came down with his belly of jello.
He says, 'where the ladies at cuz I'm a real jolly fellow.'
Then he gave me a wink and was quick out of sight.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a super deeky duper fly night.

Chorus:
(now everyone - sing)
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but,
I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year 
(one more time, like you mean it)

Chorus:
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but,
I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year
Cos I hate Christmas I'm glad it only comes one time a year
Cos I hate Christmas I'm glad it only comes one time a year