I'm feeling so sick, someone get me a beer
My life is a shambles, you know I'm a Queer
My head it really pounds and pounds
Records just go round and round
Mom and Dad - they just hate my guts
The only girls I know are sluts
Say I'm deeply troubled
Oh I shake my head it just ain't so
Daddy beat me with a hose
Got kicked out of the Webelos
Feeling so groovy
I'm feeling so groovy
I'm feeling so groovy it sucks
Phone's disconnected, hey I'll never learn
Just eleven more months 'til my income tax returns
I'm really not that dumb you know
Got lots of beer and Tuinols
Ran over Rin Tin Tin today
His Alpo's mine now, hey it's great
Say I'm deeply troubled
Oh I shake my head it just ain't so
Daddy beat me with a hose
Kicked out of the Webelos

[Chorus]
Well I was walking down the street
With my head held high
Thinking everything was alright
When a big fat bird came and shit on my head
Man that's the story of my life
Feeling so sick, someone get me a beer
My life is a shambles, you know I'm Joe Queer
I'm not really that dumb you know
Got lots of beer and Tuinols
Ran over Rin Tin TIn today
His Alpo's mine now, hey it's great
Say I'm deeply troubled
Oh I shake my head it just ain't so
I've gone completely out of hand
I want Dan Vapid in my band

[Chorus]